pepper-bomb

StoryboardS

2007-08-02T23:11:00.000+08:00

I noe I noe, instead of asking myself to look at the time.....i'll try looking at the dates...yea been lazy n away from here...

Currently still doing my 3rd year final year project, I found some good storyboard links and info to share..but i doubt none of you wld take interest in wad they are...but well, the real reason is because i wanna include the stuffs here so i wont forget ( i have a major STB issue @ the moment )

But u noe wad? =) storyboards are like comic pages of any movie for the camera man and animators.

i'm worn out from working so vigoriously for 6 mths straight...but its all coming to an end in 2 more weeks!!!! xD omg its finally here~!

anyway, here are the stuffs...

Film and Video - Storyboard Artist

Storyboard Sites

atomiccartoons
don bluth
dicomics
thestoryboardartist
famousframes
thefilmartis (Updated Link)
frameworks
storyboardsinc
storyboardsonline
tedbstudio
tothfans
animation corner studio (thanks to Chopster )
storyboardart
dan milligan
sbdoc
artistlogic

Books

Analyzing Storyboards by Giuseppe Cristano

Don Bluth's Art Of Storyboard

Exploring Storyboarding

Storyboarding 101: A Crash Course in Professional Storyboarding by James Fraioli

Camera Shots(Basic description of camera moves)
1)www.digipuppet.com

Downloadable Stuff:

www.dependentfilms.net

Interesting Threads: Favorite Camera Shots
Storyboard thread by Rebecca Kimmel

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Writing A Great Script Fast In A Nutshell

http://www.mindseyemedia.com/Steps/step1intro.html

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http://www.thefilmartist.com/Pages/Film_page.html

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The School of Visual Art and Design at Southern Adventist University is developing a full length animated feature on the life of Jesus using computer generated imagery.

http://art.southern.edu/animation/

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- L0w whiTe bL00d ceLLs -

2007-04-15T13:33:00.000+08:00

Todae's a great dae, for resting and abit of playin. Eh well, but i've work to do..brought home my unfinished business. Storyboard cleanups, yeah.

But before i get back to work, i did some research on treatment of low white blood cells. A fren of mine is currently hospitalised as i speak, had a high fever and been vomiting in the past few mornings. The docs kinda suspected she was hving dengue fever, pretty serious. But as it turns out, it wasnt! Jus viral infection. Phew...This was wad i gathered:

>>> The lowering of the white blood cells that fight infections is known as Neutropenia. It can be fatal if conditions are left untreated. Without the white blood cells, our body would be defenceless to fight the viruses and bacteria. And where does these cells come from? From our bone marrow, its 'mother' .

Signs And Symptoms:

Fever
Frequent infections due to lessened ability to fight bacterial infections
Mouth ulcers
Diarrhea
Burning sensation when urinating
Unusual redness, pain, or swelling around a wound
Sore throat
Shortness of breath
Shaking chills

>>> Causes can be divided into the following groups:

Decreased production in the bone marrow:
- hereditary disorders (e.g. congenital neutropenia, cyclic neutropenia)
- cancer
- certain medications
- radiation
- Vitamin B₁₂ or folate deficiency.

>>> Straight to the point. Okae, how can we help? Food dude, food..Vitamin B12 is our good fren now! =D It is naturally found in foods that harbor B₁₂ bacteria including meat (especially liver and shellfish), eggs, and milk products. Fortified breakfast cereals are a particularly valuable source of vitamin B₁₂ for vegetarians and vegans. Table 1 lists a variety of food sources of vitamin B₁₂. A natural vegan source of B₁₂ is the Chinese herb Dang Gui (Angelica sinensis) . The herb is used in Traditional Chinese medicine for treating anemia.

Pls check this out for more! =D
[[ http://www.deltronix.com/public/li/white_cells.html ]]
i was so so glad i found this link, cos i was kinda lazy to type more. Hahaha..

Its like, my first time in my life i ever visited a fren in the hospital. (-.-) She was fine and okae, nth much to do dere since she doesnt hv a private ward where i can gather a couple of frens and maybe, jus maybe we could play some games w her dere to cheer her up!

To you, Shirley - Please get well! More outings awaits u.

cheers,Publish
xAv

dEAr rEAders V( ^ ^,)V

2007-04-12T23:01:00.000+08:00

Todae was a lovely surprise in the morning, i opened my eyes and was greeted w a splendid timing for - anothercabby trip dwn to work....yea damn i LOVED the surprise...how it happened? Dun ask guys...i didnt asked for it to happen. My ears have ended their partnership w my brain...brain cells-rotting away deep in mental space..

During work todae, dere was a cartoon screening for one of the productions "milly,molly" . Not bad, atleast we got to see our efforts paid for for the preparations we did b4 we toss the animation job. And i had a long chat with one of the directors dere, which is my fren dere. Gave my tips and explain the wrongs n right as we go thru the boards. V gd n mighty insights...knowing the different shots isnt gd enuff, a storyboard artist needs to noe how to, director the scenes.

Cool...it rained...and we hear the heartbeat of the storms..
Songs really are the source of my insprirations, avril lavigne's songs kept passing my mind..i miss secondary sch daes.

Here's one of the songs i love, "When u're gone"

================================

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day
And make it okay
I miss you

I've never felt this way before
Everything that I do
Reminds me of you
And the clothes you left
Are lyin' on the floor
And they smell just like you
I love the things that you do
When you walk away
I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?

================================

Oh oh - here's a drawing i drew on my way home, was guilty of not doing anything productive over the last few weeks... So yea, btw it aint original. Was a comic sketch by the Artist before the actual comic was out in full color..

(click to enlarge) Heh Heh, still aint so bad and rusty....i've another drawing w me....hvnt scanned it in yet..Pls comment..im happie to hear any!!!

pEAce V( ^ ^,)V

Another dae Another Time

2007-04-11T23:33:00.000+08:00

>>> This IS the scenary Im blessed w every morning..A piece of aRt eh? Feeling insPired todae? n0t me, n0t in a million years..Dinosaurs looked prettier den tis..But t0o bad cos im bEttEr...oppS..
>>> One of the daes i left wOrk early, ahhh...nICe.. =]

This, is David...oUr CrAZy and fUnny man...the NaNo boi..and pOptaRts' kIng
>>> This, is me...the frEshiE...woAh for a month onli? wadeva... xP

>>> This , is Aizat...My incharge - Da Gizm0 dUde

todae todae todae,,,,i did cleanups hey hey! HurrAy cos nth's changed, working hard and relaxing whn need be..company;s planning a night cycling thingo next sat...maybe i aint feel like going...

To be given an entire episode to solely work on was a challenge, not only does it test on my patience and attitude but also on my time management. Im not the only one, my fellow colleagues also feels as dull and tested as i do. But after a day's rest, im better n ready..I was asked review and hv my incharge check my cleanups, and outta 116 panels in 2weeks, only one needs attention. Booya! Btw, deadline's nearing..sigh...

[[ThE EnD]]

||MovE iT Ya LazY buMmm||

2007-04-04T23:30:00.000+08:00

Another day of cleanups!! Hmm...felt im not learning much..or maybe im jus not looking at things the way i shld hv...i failed to meet my quota todae...why? hmm lemme think...got distracted? maybe..getting lazy and feeling dull? definately!

Been thinking abt how i wanna improve and be a specialist in an area...like a comic artist..expert or familar with every tips n hints of the drawing world...yup..got a book titled character creation which explains tat creating starts with giving the char a mood, attitude and a story...tats for starters...work's still the same..

Wads wrong with me this days...i've changed i feel...becoming more frustrated by the day...i feel you know, its the feeling of not able to finish wad i shld hv all the time. And seeing frens hving new works makes me feel like im falling behind..damn..

tats y i bought a book written by many great comic artists. It's titled, "How to Draw - character creation" . I've got the craving to do some kickass comic of my mine, but the problem is...i aint got a style to impress peeps along with a catchy storyline...Got afew books im taking under me lately, great books! but reading aint progressing much at all...

Some1 to ass-kick me would be awe---some!

regards,
meeeee

][Never bAd to tRy new things][

2007-04-03T00:19:00.000+08:00

today, someone brought up th issue with this "180 degreeS" rule..meaning to say when in a scene with the camera shooting at a character side view...um..its really hard to explain wthout a picture n visual..but i learnt smth anyway..and they might send us for some training workshop as we're all working on diff levels base on our knowlegde..so yea

i borrowed a book 'film directing -SHOT BY SHOT' by steven d. katz. I'm trying to bring my knowlegde of my job to a higher level...not jus cleanups..been challenging myself to keep up the mood and attitude at work. i'm seriously reconsidering should i try a change of departments after the 6weeks thingy...or shld i stay and continue...i could learn rendering and den move on to coloring...a bit of here and dere helps..but mastering nothing is futile as well...hmm..

][Never bAd to tRy new things][

things to do these days:
>hit my qouta @ work - 12panels a day...
>do drawings
>finish reading book 'film directing'
>apply for basic theory
>be cheerful
>love myself and my frens and my work

things i've been doing lately:

>slacking

>sleeping damn late

>playing Need for Speed- most wanted (addicted)

>wasting time instead of being productive

b A k

2007-01-03T22:53:00.001+08:00

well...i know i have been missing in action for a heck of a time...man there's so much to update here....im rushing on work and plus wad the heck am i doing here anyway. it jus sorta came to my mind i need to check out my blog...i'm not really i writter..nor a reader..

well...xmas was fun..wage a messy war @ downtown...damn ppl w their nvr ending supply of spray cans...but yea me n babe n frens fought back...oh yea!!! hahaha...man...time passes really fast i'd say...my buddy cj is finally attached now! unbelieveable- but yet it happens...i've just had a long day @sch mugging on a 3d lighting assignment...nice n neat man..luv my work...cos i finally cld do it right by my own... =X i am a terrible slow learner....mi working soon...@ a hotel again...need to earn some bucks..my flesh needs em.....wahaha...clothes n shoes n bags n etc etc i wanna buy...but now tat i've got a wonderful gf..i gotta do my job to support her.....waa..everything's great...me n her...

im seriously being cramped up by work n thinking of the future...jobs n all...family responsibilities...not sure if im up to it..

well im ending here todae...be back sometime later...much later i'd guess...haha

xav

Art Of stAying In LoVe

2006-11-27T22:05:00.000+08:00

The Art of Staying in Love
by Dick Innes
Published by ACTS International
Printable version

What is more exciting and exhilarating than falling in love? Is there anything?

Sadly, though, many of us have learned that it's just as easy to fall out of love as it was to fall into it. And while finding love and affection is one of our greatest personal needs, why is it that so few seem to stay in love?

Falling in love can be the start of a loving relationship, but lasting relationships don't just happen; they grow. In many ways nurturing a relationship is like tending a garden. Neglect it and it dies. Constant care and cultivation—including the following suggestions—are needed to keep love alive and growing.

Love is being there. One of the chief ingredients of love is to give another person your presence. Without presence, as Dr. David Augsburger says, love receives an invitation to die.

Presence is not only spending physical time with another person but also giving him or her your undivided attention when you are with them. It includes being sensitive to his/her feelings and aware of his/her needs. It means not only hearing with your ears but, much more so, hearing with your heart.

For instance, recently I visited with a friend who spent the entire time talking about his interests and concerns. I tried to share some of my interests, too, but felt as if my words fell on deaf ears. There was no experiencing of mutual presence—the basis for all meaningful relationships including friendships.

Loving relationships don't
just happen: they grow.

Love is understanding. Most behavior is caused or motivated. Once we understand this, we can be much more accepting and loving. For example, one father I know was having difficulty with one of his two children. One was the "perfect" child, the other constantly rebelling."

Is one of your children a favorite?" I asked the father. With a tinge of embarrassment he admitted the "good" child was. "Do you think this could be the cause of your difficult son's negative behavior?" I asked again. The answer was obvious.

Much negative behavior in adults as well as children is caused by not feeling adequately loved. This may have its roots in present relationships or from unmet childhood needs. Either way, when people are acting negatively or yelling, they are hurting and, in a way, however clumsily, are yelling for help. If we can see this and take the time to understand the real cause behind their behavior instead of taking it personally and yelling back, we can go a long way in strengthening our love relationships.

Love is accepting responsibility. Most of us bring the excess baggage of unresolved issues from the past into our close relationships. For example, the man who didn't get along with his mother and is still angry at her, will inevitably take out his hostility on his wife and family. Or the woman who felt mistreated by her father or some other significant male and is distrustful of men will take out her hurt and anger on her husband, and so on.

If we desire to stay in love, it is imperative that each of us accepts the responsibility for resolving our inner conflicts that cause dissension in our present relationships. We were not responsible for our upbringing but we are now totally responsible for what we do about resolving any negative effects our past had on us.

Love is more than sex. Love is much more than a physical relationship. It is also an emotional relationship. The man who ignores the emotional needs of his wife and expects to receive a warm response in bed is inviting frustration. Women are not machines to be turned on at will. Sex starts in the kitchen at six, not in the bedroom at nine. A long-lasting physical relationship is the result of an ongoing healthy emotional relationship.

On the other hand, the wife who no longer shows any interest in her husband's life outside the home feels totally shocked when she discovers that one of the younger women at the office has. Many men (and women too) who get involved in extra-marital activity, don't do it so much for sexual reasons but for companionship—someone who will listen to them and make them feel important and appreciated.

Love is romance. I read about one woman who had been married for 25 years. She was in her front yard when the newlywed man from across the street arrived home from work. His wife rushed out the door to greet him and they stood embracing for a long time.

The observer got the message. When her husband came home that evening she did likewise. The rewards of all such romantic gestures are well worth the effort. And men, don't forget that our ladies love a rose from time to time and other "little things" that make them feel loved and important. A good tip for keeping romance alive, as one person suggested, is to have an affair—with your wife?

Love is a commitment. Love that lasts is a commitment of one imperfect person to another imperfect person. It means that no matter what, I am committed to you and to your growth. I will be what you need me to be—not necessarily what you want me to be. If you need me to be loving and affectionate, I will be loving and affectionate. Or, if for your growth you need me to be tough and firm, I will be tough and firm. Within the bounds of my own imperfections I will always strive to do and be what is best for your growth.

True love is a commitment
of one imperfect person to
another imperfect person.

This kind of commitment means that one will not try to manipulate the other person to get his or her own way, but will at all times maintain gut-level, open and honest communication. It isn't easy, but it is the way of love.

Love is spiritual. Love is not only physical and emotional, it is also spiritual. For instance, sociologist Steven Nock of the University of Virginia, studied the link between religion (the spiritual) and the family. He concluded that couples who attend church regularly are 42 percent more likely to be still married for the first time than couples who don't go to church.

However, it’s more than just going to church that makes a marriage happy. It's commitment that make the difference. Those truly committed to their spiritual faith are 23 percent more likely to have a "very happy" marriage than couples who don't go to church.

The point is when we respond to God's love, he gives us "a spirit of power, love, and self-discipline"1—all essential for cultivating loving relationships.

So, if you don't attend church regularly, why not start this week. Find a church where love, friendship, and affection are expressed. This, too, can help to greatly enrich your love life.

1. 2 Timothy 1:7.

By Richard (Dick) Innes

2 R 1

2006-10-14T15:46:00.000+08:00

I'm so sorry for disappearing for a lengthy time, but however this day, 14th Oct 2006 i shalt nvr forget....

For i've found a girl for my life...i won't say much abt it, cos i oso wish to respect her privacy...this post serves as a day n date to rembr...tat my dreams hv comed true...i've been dreaming n hoping eagerly for this day to arrive..

everyday her face i see in every tots...even every nite..i hvnt had a clue why i fell so deeply n gone all nutz abt her...she just rawks my life...she's as much as a prankster as i am....finally, my other half found...thank you, for letting me into ur life...

permission granted...was all i needed to hear...

i'll rembr the 15mins i went into shock n hyper joy.......thanks to a fren who heard me hear out when the news was too much for my heart to contain...overjoyed.........beyond words...

again, i hv work to do...this time...its a TV mobile project...===> yEAh!! <==
i'm in lOve...i'M hiGh...BeWaRE =D

Madly,
xaVier

Angel 2 thee

2006-08-03T00:31:00.000+08:00

Well last night i was a very good boy, slept at 4am.....hey, i listened to my body...i didnt say i listened to my mummy! hahaha...and yea i woke up 10hrs later...boy did i had a gd rest....so good i wanna lie dere the whole day....

But i was woken up by my family....for lunch... My dear mummy reminded me i had to return the library books, wad good memory she has...i only told her once.....perfect women!!
On the way back home, at the station...i saw a blind man walking with his stick tapping about on the ground. I did felt sorry n felt some help would be needed.

But somehow, i guess i was feeling kinda awkward too if i stepped forward people would look at me...not tat i'm shy or anything..i just feel uncomfortable being stared at....i stood where i was as he walked passed me...i did felt like an idiot stoning dere. After awhile i turned n decided to follow him n watch his back....i stared hardly when he started to walk down the stairs...den at the corner of my eye i saw 4 patrolling officers in blue walking towards his direction....i wondered when they lend a hand which i didnt...i turned my attention back to the blind gentlemen n he was already down the stairs..it was den the officers without hesitating offered their hand...and gladly, it was taken.

Though i didnt reach out to him, but it sure did felt good when i followed him watching his back like a guardian angel....knowing some other angels came by to watch made me relieved..

At nite, i was doing my work n dling anime songs, man it was great....i got songs i wanted to get before...yep, still working hard....i hope...
See yA

Sianz

2006-07-16T15:49:00.000+08:00

whoa...wad a long break i've been hving!! well, not exactly holiday or term break...i just tried mapling ..haha...been devoting to lvling up once a day....hahaha....haiz...assignments going to drive to my grave sooner den the birds can fly home.....

getting tired but nevertheless, will still fight on man....yesterday just had a class bbq...ahwoo...hahaaha...it was my best time i made such a good fire n cook yummy hot chicks....(chickens mind u)

alrighty den, back to work lads....

oh n thanks joan for the other new nickname u gave me tat will add on to my list...Tara Bon Bon...weird but funny n howling hyena

Life-Sustaining Force?

2006-06-28T23:14:00.000+08:00

After watching an anime "Ergo Proxy" i learnt abt a way to prolong our lives, it's like taking a new chapter of biology..interesting......from taking many deep breaths...i actually increased how long i'm able to hold my breathe from less den a min to 2mins now.....been doing tat for years...

Pranayama (breathe, life-sustaining force) is a breathing exercise which practitioners of yoga use in an attempt to extend their lives by simply controlling their breathing!!

"Pranayama is generally defined as breath control. Although this interpretation may seem correct in view of the practises involved, it does not convey the full meaning of the term. The word pranayama is comprised of two roots:prana plus ayama. Prana means 'vital energy' or 'life force'. It is the force which exists in all things, whether animate or inanimate. Although closely related to the air we breathe, it is more subtle than air or oxygen.

Therefore, pranayama should not be considered as mere breathing excersises aimed at introducing extra oxygen into the lungs. Pranayama utilies breathing to influence the flow of prana in the nadis or energy channels of the pranayama kosha (pranamaya kosa) or energy body. The techniques of pranayama provide the method whereby the life force can be activated and regulated in order to go beyond one's normalm boundaries or limitations and attain a higher state of vibratory energy

===================================================================

Cautions

However, the practice of pranayama techniques is not trivial, and Kason (2000) mentions circumstances where pranayama techniques might disrupt the balance of a person's life. The possibility of adverse effects resulting from these techniques must therefore not be underestimated.

The real achievement of Pranayama is directly linked with the physical and mental activity of our, daily routine. Only when a perfect order is achieved in the routine of mundane life can we expect perfect mastery over breath and vital pulsations. It is always dangerous to attempt it - by beginning with the control of breath. Trying to control the breath without a control of our daily movements and reactions to others will produce dangerous turmoil in the constitution. Any experiment with the breath results in a stimulation of the energy centres on the etheric plane. When the physical and emotional stuff is not sufficiently purified beforehand then the turmoil causes stormy activity of the emotions. This results in great strain to the nerves and the vascular system. A total or partial wreck of the physical vehicle by paralysis, insanity or senility of mind may be the result of attempting Pranayama beginning with the control of breath before achieving the control of other activities.

A practical way of practising Pranayama should always be rightly discriminated, by the increase of ease and absence of discomfort at every step.

===================================================================

Malpractices Of Breathing

Very few people breathe correctly. Some use only the upper part of their lungs; others breathe with only the diaphragm (lower part) leaving the upper structures of the lungs inactive and partially collapsed. In those parts of the lung that are not used, slimy secretions accumulate and the tissues become devitalized. Thus a luxurious soil is prepared for the tubercle bacillus, pneumococcus and other scavenger germs. This habit of shallow breathing accounts in a good measure for the fact that one third of all deaths result from diseases of the lungs. For one individual perishing from food starvation, thousands are dying from oxygen starvation.

Effective Breathing

Breathing problems can be corrected by yoga through the practice of Pranayama. Pranayama has various techniques that are designed for the maximum capacity utilization of the lungs - something tat most of us do not do. Yoga and pranayama also help in regulating the temperature of the breath flow thereby solving a lot of problems related to breathing.
The effectiveness of breathing exercises depends upon the mental attitude during the time of practice. Each motion should be accompanied by a conscious effort to make it produce a certain result. Much more can be accomplished through mental concentration by keeping your mind on what you are doing than by performing exercises in an indifferent, aimless way. Yoga and meditation exercises specifically provide such a training.
Do not breathe through the mouth. Nature intends that outer air must reach the lungs by way of the nose whose membranes are lined with tiny hairs and mucous which serve as wonderful filters. Also the air is warmed and moistened before it reaches the lungs which is extremely important.

How To Do?

Sit comfortably in any meditative posture. Sit erect. Keep the palms on the knees and observe your natural breathing. Feel the breath flowing and out of the lungs. Let the breathing be natural. Feel the abdominal movement while breathing. While inhaling , let the abdominal wall move out and while exhaling let it move in. Keep your mind clear, only "observing" your breathing. While inhaling, feel the power and energy flow and while exhaling imagine throwing out tension, stress and disease.

What good can this do?

> Provides deep relaxation to the body and mind.
> Strengthens the nervous system and respiratory system.
> Improves concentration.
> Relieves stress , depression and hypertension.

There you have it...tips..intesresting huh! ^^

Forever Young

2006-06-25T22:12:00.000+08:00

Today, oh world...

like the other days, nothing's changed...however today there were some exceptions..i'd always prefer to go with, .........the bad ones so that.......when the good ones come to my ears...they will not be stained n ruined by the bad ones....rather, i can embrace the good news with a relieved heart tat the bad moments are long gone............n the good moments tat hv finally arrivaled to greet my soul.....

for the bad.....well, it has nothing to do with me at all........unrelated....as u might wish to call it.......as i left the train at boonlay on my way home after a long and tired day......i was surrounded by crowds at the control station...i kinda noticed that the place............was more packed n ppl were not moving forward anymore.........tat was wad i noticed at the corner of my eyes......curious....i removed my earphones, stopped my mp3 n switch off the game i was playing on my phone..........so i looked up........heard someone shouting n yelling....in hokkien...i couldnt understand a single word tat was muttered......it was den i saw a tall, plum malay gentlemen with blood dripping at the side of his mouth......he left the stationed tapping his card......n other man followed hastily...yelling more hokkien..this time i understood wad he said, "mai zhao" which means , "stay there"....i guessed tat he was the dude picking a fight, n how rite i was.....well, to summurize the ending....many typical singaporean stood dere enjoying the good show putted up by the two gentlemen....i nvr got the know how the fight broke out...but it ended as the staffs at the station tried to calm the chinese guy down......initially i wanted to check on the dude that's bleeding...minor wound i'd say...but he disappeared into the crowds....or the toilet nearby....trouble-makers....behaving like hooligans...when their emotions flare, they lose their minds...tat sums up wad i just saw....

now lets forget the prev incident, n remember days where u wished they'd last forever....today before my church service started....i visited the children's carnival at expo...it was a very lively n was certainly packed with screams of joy n roars of laughter of the little ones...childrens......the little angels in life tat gives us some answers which adults cannot grasp...hmmm....i wish i could stay forever young..........so that i can continue to have a humble, gentle, innocent, pure n mind tat sees n knows no evil deeds n desires........lies, corruption n jealousy...useless n harmful emotions....

anyway, i was taken to a station called 'beauty land' ......where i had my hair done n styled with color hair sprays n glitters.....hahaha, it was a fun experience...tot i'd only get the do that in my younger days....no doubt my new n improved hairdo got me in the center of attention.....not all looked closely at my hair....green, brown n gold streaks....with an arrogent looking mohawk hair... ^^ after that service started...today was a wonderful worship, most of my fav songs were played....the sermon was moving...abt facing rejecting in life n how we ought to overcome it.......i used to be in those situations where i was alone........even til now....i still fear of being alone...feels dead n lifeless where dere's no1 around...(ur frens).....today i actually felt like the old days when Jesus n I felt each other.....it was beautiful n peaceful...like everything around me didnt matter.....yes...thats the feeling...just you God, n me....with the voices of angels singing.....

we celebrated a fren's bdae...cant remember her name though....my new sister, my new member of the cell....the cake was sweet n yummy...i would love to hv more of it...simply fabulous....oh..n we went into the children's carnival again....played soccer....where the players which strapped to a belt n string.....imagine those kinda soccer machine at the arcades, yes , u might be get the picture.....and yep...i was the player.....interesting isnt it? my teams scored the most....it was fun though...it wasnt abt the scores....it was the joy n thrilled of being able to behave like a child again....i love that moment...felt like life had stopped ticking...i wanna play with not a care in the world.....ahh....how sweet....we had a last go at the kids slide where we sat together at the top before rolling down together.....hahaha .....that was totally hilarious...i cannot explain the joy n wonder i felt this afternoon....but i can tell you.......i nvr wanna grow up again....n my sister in christ just sent me a video of our soccer match.....it'll be a beautiful memory added at my life...so when i die...i hope i can review that momet i've shared with these great frens of mine.....everyday could be our last....i lived today like its my last n i nvr regreted a thing.....

thank you Lord, frens n others...

cheers...gotta get back to work again....

Answer mE

2006-06-24T21:36:00.000+08:00

Have you ever wonder if wad we're living for in this world isnt wad it seems? sometimes, i myself do feel tat there's an other world out there..yeah..hiding within n beyond the stars we glaze at so passionately...maybe they are hiding from us...or rather, we hvnt reach the age of spacing travelling...somehow i do hope tat i'll be able to live long enuff to see n meet others like me or us in an alien form....well, it's simply just an utter fascination i hv since i was a lil' brat...

false dreams n big hopes huh....i just feel dere's more to this life i live...feels boring..or maybe i'm the one who's boring...hah..nothing special, life's just repeating the daily cycle...i wanna be someone super...some1...whom i can be a role model to...i dunno...

everyday i wake from my slumber...i feel n realised tat..i still want to know the defination of my life....maybe i think too much..but sometimes....i feel tat dere's more we can understand abt the reason behind our indiviual existance...maybe it's becos i'm still stuck at trying to figure out why am i born n wad am i suppose to do within the short life i am given....i may die tmr...next week...who know's? if i did, wanna know how my life would've made a difference to the world n those who knew me...would it be better or worse if i hadnt been born? only God knows the answer...

everytime i embrace a new day...i feel different...well, it's hard to explain...its frustrating...sometimes i feel helpless cos i seem to feel tat i know something, oddly, n at the very same moment...i cant seem to find an answer...feelin' like i'm stopped before the answer hits ur face...

i just simply wanna know wad am i to the world, family , friends n strangers...wad's installed for me....i know i'm born for a unique n special reason....a purpose which is one of a kind...but wad is it?

Quiz

2006-06-22T21:18:00.000+08:00

First, name 20 people you think of nowbefore answering the questions belowtag 5 person to do this, if he/she done it,there's no need to redo it again

01.liping
02.sarah
03. shirlene
04. desmond
05. eugene wong
06. mr jimmy kang
07. shirley
08.meiyee
09. zhirong
10. shawn
11. walter
12. cj
13. sophia
14. siqi
15.aini
16. guowei
17. huixian
18. lizi
19.joanne
20. joelynn

When did you meet 14?
last year...she's my classmate!! good fren..pretty, fun n sporty...

What will you do if you never met 1 before ?hmmm.....dunno man..one less good n precious friend...life in my prev sec sch cca (sjab) would be boring without a crazy n cute girl like her

What will you do if 20 and 9 dated?
Hmm!!! very interesting indeed...rong's a shy n faithful dude, like me..(wad..)..but i'm not as shy....he's a ball shooter maniac...dark tanned...tall n skinny..funny man...... jo's a cute, funny but blur girl who loves to slp n eat only. she digs mecha, drawing.. they're both studying in nyp, same course but different track....but they were classmates in sec sch b4...gd frens...noe each other n both of them are my best buddies in nyp man...zhirong is my gay mate...yup...u read it right..

Did you ever like 19?
Erm...big nono..as in affection..but she's joelynn's younger sis...cute too..chubby n big eyed...she's quite pink in color..i mean her skin...she talks in a rather stylish n attraction manner...her piano skills are good...i love her houki boshi version!!!! too bad she gave up on it.....but she's got a good voice, glad she's in choir!! ^^

Would 6 and 17 make a good couple?
WAT!!!???!?!!?!?.......i'd pity huixian.....she deserves a better guy den mr jimmy kang..she'll die younger man...nooooo....so NO to this question....aiyah..why 6 n 17 not guys..if not i can crap abt gay stuffs man.....gay rawks!!!! wahahaaha....hmm..maybe jimmy kang IS gay....n for those who dunno jimmy, he's our lecturer..short n irritating mario wannabe....looks like em' but stinks like the mushroom..only talks abt forms (drawing) n he tsk* tsk* whenever he can....bomb his hse man...

Describe 3.
My best friend in Secondary School. both were in the sjab cca..my junior by a year...pretty..cute n blushes like a cherry when shy or when i do something retarded n she'll laugh away...rolling off chairs, tables...buildings??? we both love to tease each other...talk abt lots of things........she's a lovable girl..got a little temper though....but overalll she's a princess with a warm heart...

Do you think 8 is attractive ?
of course i do....well cause she was my first girlfriend.......she's d first n last....dated two years, but knew her well for a year before we made it official...she's cute, loving, pretty, strong in character, playful n a hardworker.....we are no longer in contact...not tat i dont want to...but she seems so busy..i pray her next boyfren will love her as much as i do or even more n out shine me..yup..and hope she'll find peace n acceptance in christ.

Tell me something about 7
WOOoo, tats one girl i've got lots of thing to talk abt...(complain) wahahaa...she's super blur.....slow....auntie....cmi......super duper uber naggy... she's an assistant ic..my partner..my classmate...my gd fren...my mummy wannabe....a city harvest FREAK....i tell you...i will bomb tat church someday.....i'll vaporise it....no..i'll fill the service with stink bomb...spray nachos on everyone..bomb here n bomb dere even toilet oso bomb..(joking)..lol.. BUT!!!!!!! she's a very cheerful girl....though she looks older den usual...she's 19..so am i...but i look 16....n ppl can still call her auntie...most say she's 22-24 years old...sadness man...but she's someone i can chat for long n laugh hard with cos she so fun to tease n disturb...sometimes settle class issues with her verbally can die...i died many times cos of her..vomit blood..basically everone loves her...she's our elder sis in class...miss her man..diff class liao...

Do you know any of 12's family member ?
All i oso noe...his mum..dad...elder sis...grandmama...maid...chilli eater family...

What's 4 favourite thing ?
erm...his power ranger toys....his precious DVD movie n jay chou collections

What would you do if 11 confess that he/she likes you ?
O_O uh-oh....is it too late to change my prev prev statement abt no guy related relationship...(i hear ppl booing) k k .....i wouldnt be surprised...we both close frens...like brothers, not gay....yet......hahaha...both when u put we next to each other....wad do you get? KOKO CRUNCH!!! lol tat was wad walter oso says....hmm tat i spell tat wrongly?? ahh nvm...we're both christian brothers with similar probs...he's a v good listener....gd christian..he's a fun dude...but if he's gay...erm....u'll see me in tmr newpaper's front page with a nice cute photo..."first came tammy now comes the brokeback gayboys....they died in the name of love"

what language does 15 always speak ?
english, chinese n a dialect....

Who is 9 goin out with ?
He’s girlfriend…who’s name I cant seem to remember….

How old is 16 now?
As old as I am! 19..

When is the last time you talk to 13?
Afew months ago on msn….my ex’s fren….my sjab junior….

Who's 2 favourite singer/band?
Hillsong, planetshakers n dilarious I presume…

Would you date 5 ?WAD THE------ C-M-I….dream on!!!! Not now not ever…do ya seriously think I’m gay?? Take a closer look pal…

Would you date 20 ?
no...dere's a horrible fate awaiting me.(hint:funky daddyless)...hahaha.we’re very close frens….she’s nice, funny, cute, cheerful….n….hmm wad else…a fren u can turn to when u need a listening ear…even though we’re not dating…ppl out dere are already saying we are…how amusing…jo if u’re reading this…u should be laughing by now…

Is 4 single ?
Yup, he is..though he has someone he’s attracted to….rite dessy?

What's 10 last name ?
He’s my younger brother…Shawn Lai Kwan Leung

Would you ever be in a relationship with 11 ?
Hey why so date questions or relationship thingy?? 11 is my classmate walter, n he’s a dude not babe….well he can be if he wishes it…relationship as brothers only…this better be the last of such questions man

What school does 3 goes to?
Singapore poly (year 2 like me)

Where doe 6 live ?
How should I know?? N I won’t wanna know…maybe mushroom land

What's your favourite thing about 5 ?
Why Eugene wong again??? This quiz makes me feel so gay…hmm abt him….he’s a nice n friendly lecturer…steady bom pipi fellow.. ^^

Have you seen 1 naked ?Oh man…should’ve put my bro’s name at the top….NO I’ve nvr seen her naked before….nvr will n nvr wanna…unless somehow its destiny that we are meant to be for each other…get married….blah blah….(censored)…pluup!!! Baby comes….yup, I’m ‘sure’ u get my point….

Man I totally tot of the wrong ppl for these quiz….hope u enjoyed reading n laughing!!!!!

Bully me...bully me

2006-06-22T02:08:00.000+08:00

Haiz...wad i can say for the pass weeks is that its been rather bad...even now as i'm typing..i am facing a crisis...i'm currently rushing on a childhood anti-bully project....its a work related with a client..its official business guys...there were some problems n miscomunication along the way n thing were srewed up pretty badly...only we can be blamed...darn...

because we're past dateline n was given extension....dateline's end of tmr....(supposely) but we've just got news tat its 11am...and it's like 2:19 now....got unfinished work...today we've just did sound recording..was fun yeah..play some round of puzzle fighter games to loosen up the tension...now there's a debate whether to just call it quits... i feel torn aprt...v unwilling to let go...ARGHHH....

haiz....but the project was fun while it lasted..though there was so many things to work with..including other modules assignments...my 2week holiday (now) is so screwed...haiz...i'm coughing like a mad house after a tough race with a cheetah...(baby one).....wahahaa

and wads with the sudden rumors..okay the balloon of gossip just went boom! my church, followed by my course frens n unknown coursemates all thinks me n my remale fren joelynn is attached...i'm like.."lol....dots dotz dotz" i expected that to come anyway...some say we're attached..some say me....yes me...innocent little xavier here after her...can you believe this??? LOL...hvnt been accused of such things since secondary school days....oh yeah..some church members said tat during a camp...last week. we were seen "holding hands"..

.......v-e-r-y....f-u-n-n-y............

why am i the center of attention?? but yeah its cool...get use to it.......haiz.....still debating abt the project.....Somebody give me a final ans....or just shoot me dead...

Praise the Lord

2006-06-13T23:10:00.000+08:00

Jesus, thanks for bringing my christian brothers into the fellowship i started. Hope we will learn to strive on n grow in our faith.

I'm seeing this as a sign that wad i did was wad God has called me to do, to share the word. Walter's made his move to join us in our common cause. ( uh we're not rebels, dont worry) haha, i've 2 more weeks before the dateline for my 3D modelling assignment....better buck up...here's a list of work i gotta do...

1> bully project
2> TKG drawings
3> story
4> Maya modelling
5> 2D hero animation
6> web design

yup....its not much.....IT SUPER STRESSING.....hahaha...but there's a way...as long as God is with me.

Good news, Joelynn has just msg me that she've posted in our fellowship blog..another member joining me and walter...."Thank you Lord"

gotta go do assignments n read my bible!!
If i've got the will, God has a way

cheers
xav

change of heart

2006-06-12T22:21:00.000+08:00

I know i've away for a super duper long time, due to the massive workload nyp was dumping at us..or maybe i'm not working fast enough. in any case, i've went thru alot of things while i was away from blogging. i was busy at doing a 3D modelling assignment where i had to design a bike i desired. And after that came other big blow, WEB DESIGN....i knew absolutely nothing! erm..well...i'm not good at learning fast...in the end...it was Joelynn that helped me at it 80%...man i was so useless at that time...but after that assignment, i had to buck up big time..do check out my site that Jo and me did...www.geocities.com/howlingtown.com....

i just came back from a church camp..cum gb camp......erm yeah girls brigade camp..i was needed so i attended...all girls sia....den the first nite i was surrounded by 7 babes pressing me hard to squeeze out my handphone number!!!! Man, am i lucky n blessed...YaaHoo!!! And they were sooooo sincere at it...each asked one by one....Sure i was tired! but i cant disappoint my fans can i??? hahaha....oh yea i neglect to mention that the reason the babes had to ask my number was becos that team lost a game and it so happened the forfeit was to seek my number....and one of them actually TRIED to remember it....phew glad she didnt....cos i'll have a headache dealing with 7 babes at a go....

after the camp...i realised i have to return and seek Jesus more in my life again. So from today, i'll be reading a page from two devotional books "our dailybread" n "our journey"....i'll share them in my other blog. For my non-christian frens, pls dont be offended ^^ it helped me greatly, i hope u'll find it helpful someday. And i'm gonna be fasting from gasy soft drinks and tibits for a month.

i wanna come back to the heart of worship, the heart of a christian..

cheers
xav

SEX BOMB

2006-05-26T23:36:00.002+08:00

hahah woohoo!!! if i'm the pepperbomb, i'll let u be my sex bomb!!!! hahaha omg you're so hot n sexy.....erm oh yeah, for those reading this..i'm refering to my batbike which i made for my sch assignment.....she's a beauty man....thanks walter, u made her look like a first class babe in hollywood right next to jessica alba n fiona xie...i spents many stressful days n slpless nites on her....if any of u guys wanna see her...let me know...i'll email the pic to ya or send them over thru msn....i'm just so happy n take super duper uber pride in her....

okay i'm just here to remember this day...the birth of my batbike...CHEERS, to Batman...

love,
xavier....
ps, i love you blinding batster!!! ^^

the blinding batster: born on 26th may 2006
female
created with maya
born as a sex bomb
destined to be a SeXy DiVa!!!

BAT RAWKS!!!

17th may ~ happie bdae to me once more...

2006-05-18T00:26:00.000+08:00

Firstly, i have many ppl to thank for making this day my fav in this month....
thanks Jesus for creating me n giving me this wonderful ppl in my life....

in my previous post i have thanked afew frens, now i have others n maybe some of the same ppl...

thanks mum, thanks dad, thanks shawn....they are my family...been with me in my ups n downs of my life....in my darkest hour n brightest times...always dere in my heart...thanks for the new hp, i love it....really love it...stay healthy n age slower k???..i love you..

thanks to my nyp frens, i wouldnt have been the crapster i am without u guys to guide me n allow me to be ur fren n clowns at times....thanks for remembering my bdae...i might not remember everyone's bdae..forgive me kaes? ^^
thanks DMD-0507...my first year class buddies.....
>>thanks Desmond, for singing a bdae sing for me while u were on stage singing ur own songs...n making all the 50+ ppl around the area to clap n sing for me...u've made a record of making so many ppl singing it for me...i nearly cried from blushing....u've always been dere to save me when deadline's drawing near...u've saved me countless times...n for once...i've never been more proud to be dere n support u when u took part in the singing contest...i'm proud, very proud to have a brother like you....i love you man...

>>thanks zhirong, for tolerating my playfullness n craps...u've also been dere with me n for me through our first years in nyp....i wan u to know u're a very dear n precious brother to me..i wouldnt be able to take it if anything happens to u....for a guy who's always been teased by a devil like me, u're funny n cute man...do keep tat hamster smell on k? cos tats d zhirong i know....hahaha n we're gay partners, still is n always will be! wahaha...thanks for helping me n being my sports buddy...take care for connie, treasure her bro......i love u man

wow..got lots of ppl i gotta thank...wun thank all...no time...but know tat u're always on my best dudes n gals lists..

>>thanks joelynn(jojo) n seejay(cj) you guys have been my fav buddies man...it aint fun without either one of u....hmm...starting to get tired....but the thanking still must go on.....well...u two know how we are man.....dun mind my wacky n ahem* funky nature....wahaha...feel free to tease me back....hahhaa..we're like some kids who grew up together sia....love u guys man....u guys know it very well...hahah thanks jo for doing my all-time favorite tongue rolling n flipping performance....u rawk flipper girl!! maybe i'll reserve u a place in my xavier's sch for gifted freaks! wahaha....cj u're welcomed to be the genius dere...

>>ps...thanks romie, u're super entertaining man...dogs rule!!!! (romie's jojo's dog) he's an expert at firing blanks...=====> relax jojo....hahaha<==== i wont kidnap him la....

>>thanks alvin n jolene, my fav cousins...i love u two to death man....u two are the wackest ppl in my life......we're crazy ppl man...but alvin, you're the funniest..wahahha...lets go out again real soo man

>>thanks my fcbc frens again for the cake n cow toy.....hug it slp sometimes....hahaha...i'll remember the butt thingy....really thanks leh for the ckae..first time ppl make cake for me....u guys made another first-time record thingy....let's bring more guys into the cell!!.....i dun wanna be sabo-ed by the girls forever..wahahahha....love u girls....erm...dun anyhow think ar...

>>thanks barb, for bringing the old buddies...wait..u bought an all girls gang to celebrate my bdae at pizzahut...wahaha...thanks for the batman toy...n flower too!!!! love u girls too.....

>>thanks lai foon, for cheering me on when i'm down n stressed..u're the most cheerful girl i've met...glad to have u as a close fren...jiyou n be happy always...i'm returning these words to you....teach me ur secret to being smily everyday...missed studying together in yuhua...

>>who else??...my dmd n nyp frens who remembered n wished my happie birthday....thanks to my yuhua secondary frens who still remembered me bdae....thanks rickson....for getting the class to sing the bdae song to me again....

man i'm super duper tired..wahaha...OH YAH!!! thanks to my aunts n uncles who sms me greetings n the red ang baos....yeehaw!!!!.....

todays's been the best day of the month, got many nice frens...even ppl who didnt reallt know me...but gave my their sweetest n nicest smile today....i must go chiong my work le....spent too much time here thanking n blogging.....i wondered why didnt i cried when des sang for me....guess i was overwhelmed by the shock n happiness....hahahah..todays blog super long...

think tats abt it for now..

with lots of love
xavier

A cow, Pancakes and the candles >>WonderfuL<<

2006-05-14T23:57:00.000+08:00

hey haha yo!

yea i know it's pretty late, and i'm suppose to be ZZZzzzZZZzzz away....but i cant go to slp just yet without typing out today's events...

i slept early this morning at 5am+.....was woken up by a call from my cell buddies...asking me if i was gonna be coming down later in the afternoon before service....i wasnt planning on attending service cos i had lots of work weighing on my head.....crap...but i knew they had smth installed for me tat they really hope i could come later.....so i got myself mentally prepared for any tricks they could come up with...hehe hehe...i rushed dwn cos i would be heading to seejay's place to do my work dere so i could ask him qns if i had any (i had tonnes of em') ......i feel like a useless bum...if only i have had more time of practicing at maya n paid extra extra attention to class.....i can only blame myself..a heavy price to pay...wad am i gonna do without my precious frens?? i guess nothing much....i'm grateful to all my frens...old n new....black,white,brown,yellow n grey....oppS? did i say grey? oh nevermind.....just felt it rythms...

so as i met my cell buddies...i sat there for awhile b4 joelynn came too...den suddenly i heard ppl singing bdae songs n everyone around me was staring like an UFO just landed...man i felt like a star...center of attention...in a great way...i was most stunned to see wad was suppose to be a cake with candles to be 6 pieces of pancakes with 19 small candles lited brightly!!!

YAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO XAVIER, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!! (wait...hey..tmr i'm gonna be meeting another bunch of frens....how many birthday am i gonna be celebrating this year???)

anyway...they were so eager to make me blow the candles...weird but i didnt bother...i sucked in as much air as i could...confident i can clear all the flames on the candles in a single blow....but man......those aint normal candles! they were trick candles.....I SPENT POSSIBLY ONE MINUTE TO GENTLY BLOW OUT THOSE TINY CANDLES....n some playful frens would 'help' me fan out the flames....the trick is not give it more oxygen...well..chemistry again...one minute man....and they took a video of me shouting victory when i tot i cleared the candles...but it was ended shortly after the resurrection of the mighty flames... dotz.... hey but it sure was fun man......didnt saw tat coming..i was expecting worse....*phew*...and they bought for me a cute cow soft-toy..with an ultra-super sexy butt...tight butts man......i asked them why cow...they said it i looked like it....hmm...so are they hinting to me tat my butt is....Ahem*...okay i got it le....
hahaha...kidding...they even made a bat shape out of a pancake....they had two failed attempts...but i'm grateful....it was very nice of them..i think no one else amongst my frens have made a cake for me...well...pancakes...hahaha...hvnt ate them for years...

after tat best time...i left to face the wrath of my work...man...dun wanna talk abt it..i'm so hopeless...i dun wanna fail this assignment...i cant afford to fail it...i hope i can make it thru...
i need the drive n ideas n confidence...someone save me....

oh yea...me n joelynn ate steamboat as dinner at seejay's place.....awesome man...fun fun fun....missed hving steamboat with my frens le....after tat i got sent home by joelynn's dad....a very unique n funny family.....today i heard lots of stories abt their family stuffs..funny....n her dad event shared abt his afternoon sermon.....we must do more for God before God himself can double our blessing n we gotta have intimate relationship with the Lord...everyday faithfully, not as n when we please or feel like it....another is something abt jericho...cant remember man....it was a cool ride home....n as i was at my house's door..my neighbour's small child whose very fond of me asked me to wait n insisted i accept two bottles of coca cola light....i declined but i didnt have the heart to really reject his 'gift' to me....n nvr gave up "pleasing" me....so i took it....

today i had a long day..i'm tired...i'm scared....i'm worried.....but i'm pretty much very happy for the events tat happened today.....

pancake cake....a cow reminding me of my butt..ahem......the tough fight with 19 candles.....a steamboat dinner.....lots of laughs....a ride home packed with sermon n stories......n lastly two free bottles of coca cola light......wow thats really smth dude...

oh man...suddenly i'm reminded of my work...sign...i'm losing hope....deadline's this fri.....it shall be my deadline as well....

now i'm having my pancake cakes as late night snack...wahahaha....
hope my teachers will push back the deadline man.....or else...it's a happily ever after for me....
~the life of a gaysha named, xavier~..... = (

SPECIAL THANKS TO:
God for the things tat happened today....n for the following ppl in my life
Aini, huixian n huiling for the cake, card n cow......n the candles...!!! ^^
Seejay for letting me come to his hse n bother him...yet had special dinner.....
joelynn for laughing away with me today
joelynn's mum n dad for driving me home from hougang to jurong west....n entertaining me with stories....
Des, for taking time to make a quick tutorial on maya...

cheers
xavier

random

2006-05-10T01:14:00.000+08:00

hahahaa....sch days are killing me man....my cup overflows of ~homework~ ....gotta meet the qouta every week...and wad's worse, we took part in a competition...well not acutally, its a educational thingy..it a project on bullying. i'll spare ya the details....all u need to know is tat i'm dying...and i might not even be alive before my bdae comes....hmm..bdae...nothing special this few years....or the last few years....presents n a small cake...sure it's fun! hope this year is smth special...hope i can celebrate with my frens...do some funny n wacky stuffs....i looking forward to know wad's gonna happen this year, not excited but just keen.. i dun wanna hope too much, lest i get disappointed...well, nothing much happens anyway..

ahh..wad am i talking abt...

anyway! i have lots of busy days coming ahead n i'm gonna strive man...dun wanna be looked dwn on, got high expectations of myself....gambatte xav...

ahahah

cheers
bat

Sayonara...u'll find me no m0re....

2006-05-02T23:02:00.000+08:00

oh yeah....on the 23th of april 2006....i rededicated my faith of my Lord Jesus....

So messed up i am...wad am i worth? i hardly know the ans....only my frens can give me an answer....one did...thanks barbara...though i dont know how u knew...but ur msg came at a right time.......glad to be ur fren...always at ur service.."knock n my door will be opened for you"....

i cant be like this....i gotta wake up...damn it.......dere are ppl who care n look up to me...i must be strong....i wanna be able to protect the ones i love and support them in life....i wanna be a somebody...not just anybody..when i die....i want them to remember me...as someone special...who lived n died a special some1......

i wanna thank all the ppl in my life.....whether u hate me or love me....i dont care....u guys made me the guy i am today...

i have to be stronger....i hope today...i lived a meaningful day...i hoped i made my frens and ppl around me blessed...its the least i can do.....

Sigh* wad's wrong Xav?

2006-04-29T00:31:00.000+08:00

SIGH...i've allowed myself to be slacking n lazing abt at home....yeah i know i shouldnt....everyone knows tat...but its hard to do so...our body just wont do as our mind says so....

i've become so weak in my studies...i just cant stand me being tat lousy...i know im slow in absorbing new stuffs.....and besides..i hvnt been using much of my thinking and now my mind's as slow as an ant....gosh..i seriously need a major hard kick to my ass to jump-start my engine!!

i wanna be in the "mad-rush" mode. yeah...no more holidays man...its annoying! why cant i learn faster like everyone else? darn it...

yay..a fren of mine just "jia you" me...thanks alot siqi n cj....i cant let u guys down...and i definately wont let u guys have all the As grades....i wanna have a share of it!!!!

"prayer and discipline, tat's d way"

i'm airy and sexy...

2006-04-19T23:55:00.000+08:00

PheW* man..out of four days, three of them have classes starting at 8 in the morning man...*RaWr* ...tiring sia...but life must go on...i must change my weird slping habits....(haha my frens all laughing at me)...but that aint mean i'm bats no more! once a bat always a bat...the blindbat..rite shirlene? haha i'll remember ya girl...u gave me that nick name..thanks ar... =P

today's been a really fun fun fun fun day!! nyp club crawl...an event where we set up stalls and attract freshies..(yes-freshies...its wad they call it) today's the second day and the last...i doned the jap costume..and damn i look g-r-e-a-t....hahaha flattering myself...but i dig the outfit..but i look like some jap mob boss...haha..its my first time wearing those things...i feel kinda naked inside...and there's these sick crappy dude trying to peek into my clothes to see my nips..sick indeed...but he's just playin' around...

i had a lotta fun going around with a mega fat giant flag...which i cant read wad it writes...hell, i just swung it to catch attention...(not for me, but for the club)...btw,my club's name is Sakuran club...

now i'm doing some studying of html stuffs...they're fun but pretty bothersome....tmr going back to sch for an hr den dunno where i'll be heading...ahh man...i'll be studying after that..maybe...maybe not...i miss wearing the yukata, the jap costume i worn....so airy...so open...so cooling..so sexy...so light.....haiz....wahaha sorry guys...tonite i'm pretty happy!!!

i hope i dun rot tmr....study study study...~where's my sexy yukata~ =X

the radio's playing ~~~sex bomb, sex bomb...xav's da sex bomb!~~ wahahahahaha omg i'm nuts

madly
xav

Rite back where i started

2006-04-17T00:29:00.000+08:00

i hope when sch reopens, life's gonna be alot better. i've a fun class..lots of really talented ppl and a good buddy. i wanna excel in my grades..get a part-time job..enjoy my life everyday..be happy always..continue to wait for my dream princess to come along...and grow spiritually stronger as a christian..

feeling lonely and empty, moody i guess...but life's gonna be better!! i know it..cos tmr me and my whole class is gonna be gathering for a last time b4 sch starts for a movie...love u all guys...

cheers
xav..

Animation tips 2#

2006-04-15T22:40:00.000+08:00

Animation tip 2#

> bad inbetweens will kill even the finest animation
> slow action = more inbetweens
> fast action = lesser inbetweens
> extreme + breakdown + breakdown = stride keys
> animation starts in ur head, plan ur steps
> nevermind the line quality, get the volumes right
> if the breakdown is wrong, inbetweens is srewed too
> only the stride keys are to be circled, the keys are the crucial point of the action
> use simple figure to avoid getting ost in details.
> the keys tell the story, the inbetweens give life to the drawings.

hmm..i apologise to those of u who dun understand my animation tips...

haha sch's starting and i'll trying to win back my passion for design..not that i lose it..it happens to be away for vacation..hahaha..

cheers
xav

Food For Life

2006-04-15T22:08:00.000+08:00

Ever wonder how do u defend ur body against cancer and other health probs? well i came across an article in Men's Health n wanna share it with my fans...haha..my dear readers..

PROBLEMS
....cancer is incubating!!!!.....
......no time to eat healthy?
.........becoming more injury prone?
...........untapped muscles?
...............corroding joints?
...................waning sex drive?
.......................rising blood pressure?
...........................ur metabolism slowing down?
......................lazy to build but wanna keep those muscles?
.................cancer prone skin?
............risk of prostate cancer?
......narrowing arteries?

HELP? SOLUTION? read on....my fans =)

All u need to do is eat the right stuffs..
it's a pretty quick summary of it...

> berries = attack cancer/helps in recoverying from hangovers
> vegetables = fight heart diseases
> beef = builds muscle
> walnuts = boost sex drive
> broccoli = repairs muscle
> salmon = preserves ur knee
> cheese = burns fats (adding peppers do help too)
> mushrooms = protects ur prostate from cancer
> sweet potato = screens out skin cancer
> grapes = clear ur arteries
> turkey = keeps u lean
> bat wings = makes sure u'll nvr forget xavier.. =P

WAahAHhaAH...remember the bat wings..it'll save ya life big time man..

cheers
xav

Animation tips 1#

2006-04-14T23:05:00.000+08:00

i'm trying to excel in my area of animation, i'm reading up on this book ( helluva good one! ) titled 'the animator's survival kit' by Richard Williams. i'll make it neat and short for my fellow frens to update themselves...tat includes u too jo!

Tip 1#
> animation is abt the spacing and timing!
> Spacing is a thicky part
> Good animation spacing is a rare commodity.
> extremes are the starting and the ending point of an action.
>breakdown or passing position is between two extremes, its crucial in helping us invent/create

(end)

Fell, & I'm still falling

2006-04-13T23:24:00.000+08:00

i'm finally back after such an awful long time...i have lots of things i wanna say. the closing point are the same but the opening points are too many to even count...So, i'll just start with wad comes to my mind first..since i'm a person who does things according to feelings and alittle thinking later..

yes...Abt God..i hvnt been reading nor praying..i'm ashame to even say i'm a christian..i'm a useless one..i believe in ur existance, but i do nothing to prove my loyality to ur name. i have drifted so far, TOO far from ur saving grace..but i've heard many times..dere's nowhere i can fall that u cant reach me...my frens tell me Jesus is here..but i cant feel him..this is how numb and blind i am now...i'm a sinful and ugly soul..i cant seem to focus on serving you or doing anything to please you...i guess i'm very much defeated by my inner demon.....my pastor and my fren, Anthony..he's like my brother..no-he is..but i've shamed him and my church (jurong christian church) and those who believed in me there...i have not gone back for half a year..I dared not face my face dere and neither have they called me...i nvr blame them..why shld i...

if dere's anyone reading this, i'm have lots of things i wanna shout out...Jesus, forgive me...i'm a sinful and dark-hearted man...my frens doesnt know of the fallen and christian part of me....i wish i can be that Christian xavier i once was 2 years ago...i admired myself for the hope and smiles i brought upon my frens' face....in the past...wherever i am...wadever i did....it was all for Jesus..WWJD...Wad Would Jesus Do? i asked and reminded myself of that every single day of my new life as a believer.. Jesus was my role model..my life and who i was after i accepted him had been changed dramatically...i gained alot of patience and endurence towards anything..almost no one could ever make me mad nor hurt easily...there was even a girl who was jealous of my tolerence that she tried time and time again to piss me off, but she failed..finally i admited to her...i'd be mad if anyone brings a tear to my fren's eyes or put a scar on their hearts...i assured her, she'll live to regret that action...wad can i say, my frens are my life..

i need motivation to walk in the path of rightousness again...i need a kick or push from someone to encourage me to move forward...i'm still looking for...or shld i say, waiting to be pushed...Sign* but i cant have that attitude can i? i'm suppose to be showing good example to ppl who still look up to me...IF there even is any..something's missing in my heart Jesus, help me regain that missing piece..i cant move without it..show me the way..and take me home God..i am lost in the desert of darkness and lies...everyday, i live to survive temptations...i live to find the reason to my existence...and the answers are in you, Jesus.. ~give me strength, give me hope to forgive myself~...my life my sch grades have been falling since i fell from ur sight....everyday...i feel my heart hardening to ur voice...my eyes blinded from the true light...my ears damaged from hearing the devil's lies...my lips cursed with words i shouldnt say...i can no more bring light to the world..now, i am darkness and a pain to my ownself...

a mask i made to make my frens i still love and cherish happy...but inside, i'm broken and poor...Lord deliver me from my own cursed actions...give me wings and help me soar above the darkness and to the skies...

sch's starting soon..and i'm still a weakling...but i will continue to serve my frens to my best and bring more smiles to their faces.....i wanna be strong..so i can help others better and more..Jesus, help me by giving me wisdom and courage..Thanks for giving me two gd frens who watch my back...they are Seejay and joelynn...we share the same painful memories in our younger days...we were outcasts before...i know how it feels like to be a nobody..and i will not abandon these two loyal frens..argh...i'm getting soft now...i will not commit my heart to another relationship until my heart is back with Jesus..cos nothing will work without Christ in my life...HE is my engine..and i'm the train...my frens and famillies are my wheels...and the passengers are the dear memories that will remain in me til the day i die..

and until den, may i find my way home to my shepherd..and rest in peace in his sweet embrace..
cheers
xavier aka bat
<>

sorry fellas

2006-03-15T20:53:00.000+08:00

well, i know i havnt been writting anything for months...if there's any1 reading that is...

today's a pretty boring day for me, nuthin to do...it kills me...no job but hey, who looks for work asap after exams? i wanna play and rock b4 work comes my way....guys, if u're still hangin around....i'm not the type who blogs very often as u know know! take care ya all...stay healthy..see ya

xavier

Childh00d voices linGers on

2006-02-05T23:48:00.000+08:00

Oh well, where should I begin?

Ahh! I shall begn with what I think about my life. Lately, I’ve been getting a really strange but powerful feeling..it’s something to do with being spiritually. Could it be my soul that’s trying to tell me something? Maybe not, I feel its more like destiny has something awaiting for me. But when whenever I’m close enough to grasp it, something seems to be missing…it’s like a puzzle, I miss that last piece to really see what the whole picture is like! There are times when I really felt like yelling and screaming out loud my frustrations. WHY ME? Yes…why me? What is this weird feeling I have in my guts? What’s going to happen to me in the future?

Every morning when I get up from bed, I have that feeling I’m gonna be something or someone very very important to the world..that I’m the chosen one…..like there’s an inner power that lies in my soul but I cant really ulitilise its full potential yet..I need the KEY to free it…I sort of had this feeling when I was a kid….maybe I watched too many cartoons in the past abt heros saving the world…but I really like saving and helping people in needs…..but me saving the world? That’s not possible, who am I to the world? It’s like there’s a destiny waiting for me to be untold. Like some kinda prophesy…it’s just me thinking too much I guess…but this feeling has been lingering since my childhood….but strangely, the answer to my mystery got closer when I got to know Christ Jesus as my God and saviour.

The question is, what is God’s plan for me? Why do feel that I’m being watched and tested?? I feel so darn helpless not knowing the answer to this feeling…recently, I guess another answer has been revealed to me. IT SEEMS EVERYONE THAT HAS COME INTO MY LIFE HAS A MEANING AND PURPOSE FOR ME…..EVEN THE WORDS, ACTIONS, LIFE, AND PASSIONS HAS A LESSON FOR ME TO LEARN FROM….did God send these people to me for a divine reason? Even a normal cab driver has such an impact on me…I feel my existence in the world is merely a test before I move on to my real destination…in the bible, my next destination would be "heaven"…..

But why do I receive such feelings and senses? Is that my spiritual gift?
Honestly I still do feel rather uncomfortable thinking of my coming future….everything is like an illusion and I’m lying on my bed just dreaming, but what I see, feel and hear are too real. WHAT IS THE REAL REASON TO MY EXISTANCE? Even if I really was the chosen one, how could I possibily save or help the world or anyone? I asked my Christian frens, they couldn’t answer me as though I was nuts….my pastor said something about me doing something spiritually wonderful…..and ex-girlfriend told me I may be a famous pastor or preacher? Seriously, I don’t see how that fits. The feeling just comes on lingering on and off…..when its on, I can feel a strong level and amount of energy in me…..so much potential to be unleashed! I wonder are there others like me?

Something tells me everyone’s life is linked to mine and mine to theirs….without me, there can be no reason for them to live….and the same goes for me…the only gift I believe I possess in life is to listen to other’s problem, to console them and free them from the pain and lighten the burden….i just cant avoid caring for others….that I seldom care about myself…..i have drifted so far from God’s light, something’s calling me home….but I feel I’m so blinded and weak….I WANT TO BE STRONG…because I want to know the answer to my destiny…the reason I am chosen for a special meaning in life…..i’m fearful knowing I’m chosen by someone I hardly knew to perform a special task I never know about….and even lesser on what the outcomes will be…

Only God has the answer I believe,
xavier.

Boogie rAininG

2006-01-12T19:19:00.000+08:00

rain rain come again
like the other day
pour and pour
roar and roar
just like today
freezing, chilling, wet and soaky
back to school
on funky friday ( ' ',)

it's been pouring like a fountain in the skies, everyone's cold and wet. Shoppers hurrying and hidding about like ants...though raining and all is making my travelling rather uncomfortable, everything's much different when i'm lying on my comfy bed...ahhh...cooling, *yawn*....man i wish this could go on forever man...kinda hoping for snow flakes to fall on my head...snow baby snow! =)

i wonder how's everybody? hardly called them anymore, lazy and buzy u know....life in poly is getting more busy, well, who isnt? right now,i'm wishing i was in the united states...except if there was lesser crime rates there....richer ppl always turn out to the more corrupted ones....money money money......

japanese anime are on the other hand interesting, their story concepts are so outta this world but it fits the story well...and man look at the special effects...they rock ==> including the cute girls in them too! i like those anime that makes me cry. . .so now,i'm trying hard to learn the art of drawing manga and jap language...luckily i've got some frens of mine who can speak abit of it...

oh and i remembered i still own u guys the part 2 of the metabolic magic guide...sorry guys,gimme abit more time ya?

*sign* i like the idea of working, but i cant find a place that i really like...right now i'm working in fullerton hotel as a waiter....i'm thinking of this place 'toysarus' ....there's kids and i get to talk to them...play with them...and i can always check out new toys for me to collect...!!! but lots of my frens hate the idea of working in a place where there's kids.....hmm..but they're cute...most of them!

i kinda miss the energetic me, 4 months since i went to the gym...i gotta go back man...my body's rotting away....(erm..gettin' weaker ).......i really wish i can spend more time with my classmates, cos we'll be splitting up soon in 3 months or 2......

gotta go guys, my pile of paper work is calling me. .
til then, be healthy always man

always urs
xav

i'M Dying I'm BlushInG

2005-12-30T00:42:00.000+08:00

it's already so late,and i'm still blogging....well it's because i just wanna give great thanks to a very thick-skinned fren of mine,she's shan dong.......i call her ding dong for short...but if she ever knows i call her that,i'm no different from those slaughtered pigs....omg!!!!

i was feeling so darn down....and den i just wanted to thank my fren for the photos she sent me....end up? we chat till 1pm.....she cheered me up so much....by sweet talking.....yes sweet-talking.....saying how cute and chabby i was....omg....no girls have ever said to me that for like years......she nearly got my head exploded for praising like dat....accusing me of trying to hint to her i was saying myself cute....oh gosh*......so daring......yet so charming...... but i know as a friend she just wanna make me laugh again....

being back on the road of singleness is really a challenge to me,sort of.....there's so much i can learn from now on....i wanna be engage in some beach sports......where i can hang out and chill and make new friends....i miss the sun,sea and sands.....sentosa baby,wait for me darling....

i really gotta buck up man....many ppl will be supporting me through....and i will not fail them.....tmr will be my mugging day

seriously yours
bats

wad eva reason?

2005-12-29T22:36:00.000+08:00

My days are passing ever slowly,getting more and more meaningless.....really aint easy being single again. But =) it kinda feels good and free....except that you're without a partner to share ur innermost self......"confession of a broken heart". life seems to be moving alot faster than before,i'm really falling behind man.....the radio's playing all the great love songs.....refreshing my minds with the former loving moments.....a temporary medication to my emotions....

.......i'm not really a smart person....low IQ but high EQ.....i'm always so emotional,making me vunerable....gotta get back to my work though i hate to.....the radio's playing......

I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so, I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you
I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
That's why I need you to hear
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you
And the reason is you
And the reason is you
And the reason is you
I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you
I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you

sadly yours
bats

my New Baby

2005-12-20T01:22:00.000+08:00

my ear that is......yee haa!!!! i'm looking forward to piercing my ear.....a new life and start,maybe things may turn out better for me.....yup man...Time waits for no man,i'm gonna enjoy my life all the way!! YEE HA

Crazyly yours
XaViEr

"You're Not There"

2005-12-18T14:27:00.000+08:00

i wake up one day,
and you're not around,
except for pillows on an empty bed.
I see no one around,
with my feet on the ground,
i run and run but i still cant see you there....
you're the only one who's suppose to be there
but now it's bare

i cant live,
if my livin' is without you,
i cant breathe
if there's no love in the air
cos deep within me,
lies all cracks and fragments,
signs and symtoms of a fallen man
leaving behind....
a tiny tear

originally me,
Xavier (my heart)

a new beginning for a free man

2005-12-15T23:21:00.000+08:00

She's always on my mind,
From the time I wake up
'Till I close my eyes
She's everywhere I go
She's all I know
'Though she's so far away
It just keeps getting stronger everyday
And even now she's gone
I'm still holding on

So tell me where do I start
'Cause it's breaking my heart
Don't wanna let her go

Maybe my love will come back some day
Only heaven knows
And maybe our hearts will find their way
Only heaven knows
And all I can do is hope and pray
'Cause heaven knows
My friends keep telling me
That if you really love her
You've gotta set her free
And if she returns in time
I'll know she's mine

Why I live in despair
'Cause while awake or dreaming
I know she's never there
And all these time I act so brave
I'm shaking inside
Why does it hurt me so?

only Heaven knows...=(

"heaven knows" by rick price
dedicated to miss "unknown"

sadly yours
xavier

metabolic MAGIC - short course to a super slim body

2005-12-15T21:59:00.001+08:00

Surely there are sliming pills and other costly ways to get that nice figure you desire! Why spend more when you can do it with lesser money and by watching what you eat? there's a naughty agent in your body's that'll burn fats faster or slower. And he's Mr Metabolic. Burning fats faster means you'll store few fats in your body,but burning slowly means you'll be keeping most of them-IN YOU. So,how do you lose those fatty and flabby tyres and tummies of ours? i've got some helpful tips for you and me too....enjoy and work hard!! there are a total of 7 chapters.....haha

Chapter 1
be consistent in ur workout routines.Consistency,the most important habits. A hit-and-miss workout becomes a hit-and-miss physique.

Chapter 2
when weightlifting,you increase muscularity which also greatly aids in eradicating unsightly body fats and keeps it off because muscle has a higer resting metabolic rate than fat. A higher consistant metabolic rate is a great way to get rid of unwanted fats. it's a super slick way to achieve a slim,shapely body.

weightlifting is the key to higher metabolic rate,well,that is if you want to burn faster! regular exercising can also do,but not as effective as weight training. it should be consistent to stay in a muscle-toned condition. weight training too often does no good to your body,make it one to two times a week. i meant the same muscle group shouldnt be trained two times in a row.

Chapter 3
those concerned about their appearance should watch what they eat. one way is to lower your carbohydrate (carb) intake. excess carb intake can add up to weight gain.It's low carb,NoT no carb. no carb will cause your muscles to be 'eaten' upby the body as fuel. Switch back to high intkae occassionally. the best approach is moderate intake,before and directly after your workout and even less during the rest of the week.
>lower carb intake
>low carb,not no carb
>eat some carb some day,we'll need it
>eat less fried food and fast foods

(to be continued)

your's always
the blind batster

guys....ChEcK TiS OuT DuDe

2005-12-02T01:11:00.000+08:00

Hello there buddies!!

I've busy lately,and i haven't got any interesting things to share.But my buddy, des (desmond) shared with me a blog thats got humor not for guys with high sensitivity...lots of guy tips on girls,babes,chicks,...wadever....just check it out at (http://betterboyfriend.blogspot.com) you'll love it!

batly your
XaViEr

Do uR thInG MaTe

2005-11-26T13:05:00.001+08:00

Animation sure sounds and looks even cool and facinating on screen.I mean look at the colours,and how close those characters can ressemble real people.Yeah,animation has always been my passion. I want make my very own local animated series of cartoon for childrens. And if things work better than expected. My cartoon characters could be made into toys for kids to play or as collectible items.Who knows,Hollywood might just send someone knocking on my door with a nice invitation for me. HaHa.....u know,a minute of animation requires nearly a 1000 drawings...imagine doing a movie! Gosh...that's why me and my frens didnt take part in a claymation competition...to create something like 'Gromit..the curse of the were-rabbits'...with a theme, 'mad about vegetables'. What a ways to teach the kids abt loving ur veg...HahA

I've convinced my buddies to join me with this adventure,but thing is....we ain't got the time to do it..For the past few days, we've works from NYP to clear up.Little items but big. Haiz, is there a nearby party around here? There's a malay marriage going on at the block next to me. Hmm,i like the drums part...so grand and fun...i could almost dance as i'm bathin'. I wonder how would it work if i mixed the different practices to my future marriage? My parents' definately gonna kick up a major fuss....Speaking of major....i just finished watching the Ghost In The Shell 'stand alone complex' series.....cool and awesome.

Feelin' rather restless...my princess is away at camp...we're cool...while she's enjoying i'm suffering. We all tend to get sick and tired when we're made to re-do that assignment because ur teachers said so. How have my old frens been...only heard some of my frens have gotten into the wrong road....Well i know just what to cheer me up! Every guys favorite activity...No not girls....come on think clean....not soccer....YeS, playing games....amazing how it can boost ur mood and take you away from work....my mind deserves that much...

So for those guys feeling as restless as i am, take a break,take a TicTac and do ya thing man...

Cheers
xavier =)

aRisE & ShINe....angels SinG Da PePPer soNg

2005-11-20T11:27:00.000+08:00

it was a fight for desperation.....a fight to see ur loved one again....to save the very bond that brought us this far....i know we might have been fool before....everyone has.......every heart is marked a scar for different reasons....but its how we stand up before the devil and shout out loud,"i will not be beaten and defeated,and i fear you not! i am not alone,i have faithful frens and i will fly with the strength of an eagle,the spirit of an dove and a heart of an angel"

though i do not understand why is it so hard to express your love and concern,and yet the other partner doesnt see it in the very same way as you do....where do you go from here? my advice.....wake up...get over that emotional bond! it a like a vaccum sucking you deeper in the darkness if you dun fight it...its like an illusion telling you that you cant leave her.

Even i was fooled by that,but we all must be quick to stand up and declare ur victory that u are not yet fallen. As for guys,i understand the emotional pain and the things you do for ur girl....if you are in a relationship that that doesnt accept ur kind of love and care,be careful or walk away....i realised how it can cause guys to fall to the level of losing their self confidence and pride.

Come guys! stand up and be strong,that is...if you even want to be loved again and to express love better. No women, lady or girl will feel safe in the arms of a man who cant even help himself. because personally,i have best frens who has their self esteem.....i dun wanna see them in a weak position.

to my dear buddies reading.There isnt just one love meant for you,take it as a lesson. you'll find that you understand urself better. feel free to drop me a comment if you have questions...

tell you wad,i'm gonna reward you for taking some time off to read my blog. So lemme share something i read from a book....

Are you sure you and ur loved one is speaking the same love language? people express and receive love in different ways....this book "the five love language" by gary chapman show s how....but i'm gonna summerize it for you

1)quality time >it's abt togetherness and that quality conversation bring we close if we're willing to spend time to hear each other out,and to engage in quality activities to only focus each other..

2)words of affirmation > learn to praise and appreciate ur partner for the small things. you feel valued if someone did this for you.it's motivating power is stronger than u think. Use only encouraging,kind and humble words if you ever wish to sweeten his/her tender heart.

3)receiving gifts > ever heard "the more you give,the more you receive" and i dun mean money guys! i mean values like respect and being humble.It doesnt always work out by giving presents,the best present you can give is ur mind,heart and time....it priceless!!

4)acts of service > "requests give direction to love,but demands stop the flow of love" you are not a doormat to serve as slavery!! you are a lover not a maid. do not neglect time for ur partner,show that you notice him/her and that though ur mind to elsewhere....i'm sure it's good to know that their heart is with me.

5)physical touch > it can make or break the relationship.."speeding can kill" it has the same effect if u rush things...it can communicate love or hate. we all know actions speaks louder than words. nothing is more important than sealing ur lips and holding him/her tight when they're hurt and in need of comfort. sometimes all we want is ur partner to stop talking and hug us.They'll tell you if they want to see a psychologist..

that's all and the least i can offer you my frens....share this around when u have frens in need of help....And again,thanks for listening.

Always there take care,
Xavier

BOO-YA !! wOken bY A PePPer sHakE!

2005-11-19T11:28:00.001+08:00

What weird dreams, but haha very interesting. Too bad they vanish so quick that we cant recall though we wake up almost immediately. I do believe dreams mean that you're sleeping a good sleep. Man,i'm all alone at home. Cos my family had to attend my cousin's wedding celebration...Oh why didnt i go? Well cos i wasnt invited.....yea i know...dotz....anyway i had some work to do.

My sweet princess is away as an instructor helping out at St.john headquarters baby-sitting junior cadets....honestly....come to think of it..i used to have small fights with her abt her fierce commitment to the cca....because it takes up quite lot time.And almost everytime we go out together,there's sure to be ppl calling her.It got to me somehow,that though i used to be in the same cca as her..i kinda dislike getting involved in st.john anymore.

But then after countless mini fights. i realised,it's really annoying and pointless to fight anymore.i've told her to balance the cca and relationship. Cos,i do feel neglected and hurt.....even when she's in the wrong...after we've had a fight...i feel anything but happy...= (

But i've learnt to accept it..i let her pursue the very things that gets on my nerve....til now as i'm sharing,i dun understand why i got soft...but come to think of it..maybe it's because it breaks my heart to see and hear her unhappiness and tears. i feel like an idiot, cursing myself. i care for her alot...i wonder...have i been good enough...or would she be better off with a better gentlemen....it's stupid i know,but i hate to see those teary eyes because it's love that makes u think that way.

Yesterday,i just celebrated her birthday..everything went as planned.I wanted to best for her. We had a wonderful evening. We watched Harry Potter together...i did it! i always loved to see her blush..she looks even more beautiful when she does...she's touched me in many ways....she cared for me faithfully...at times i glad i had her,my first love...and the same for her...it's not that i have no confidence,but i felt i've failed her. That's why i'm doing wadever it takes now to redeem myself in her eyes.

I just finished chatting with a fren i respect alot. Here's what she shared with me..

advice for guys....
> dun look at other gals when go out wif ur gf
> always think tt ur gf is the most beautiful person on earth
> dun praise other gals in front of ur gf
> learn to appreciate ur gf when she does something nice n sweet
> if she doesn't want, then dun force it..respect her
> take things slow and nice
> her fraglie heart is the most important thing u need to care for

advice on life....
> if u smile other ppl also smile, makes ppl feel happy
> bring joy to another ppl to bring true to ur heart
> dun force urself to smile,do it with ur heart
> practice smiling to the mirror,u'll make urself laugh

She has a very kind and stretches her arms across the blazing flame in a fren's desperate time of need. Here's wad she said,"i m a stone not an egg. . i dun read blog but i need time for maple..glad to b able to help,i like helpin ppl .tt's wat fren r for,i like to give advice." (a brief abstract of her from our online conversation)

Here's wad she said if i was her brother.."i always win,if i lose i will beat ppl. thks to me,u'd surely have a thick skin"

In Conclusion...>>>

So i'm really glad i have such a fren, but if i were to be given a choice to have her as i sister...hmm....it'd be one hell of a painful experience,but as ppl always say...NO PAIN NO GAIN...thks Yawen

Always there, take care
Xavier

Bless!ngs that come w!th a k!ck of a curse

2005-11-17T21:52:00.000+08:00

How often (if you ask urself) that you should be greeted with 3 live nyp models standing motionless by the esculator. JUST imagine....the hours of just simply standing still for the bitter sake of sending a message across our hard skulls,except these models dun speak but they hang a signboard around with their intended message around their body.

I had the urge to go forth and look at them in the EyE....but considering one of the male models was looking awesomely dashing with a pair of cool and style-o boxing gloves.....fearing he'd let me 'kiss' his gloves....i figured i'd better let him remain as he was. (how brave is it to stand still for hours and being stared and laughed at)

Well, i must say i've heard of some very exciting news-for me that is.......there's a competition called "claymation" inspired by the 'wallace and gromit' film....i'm really keen and considering to round up some good frens of mine cos i see potential in them..(besides...i need them to mk it work).....to run a team....sign*....is tense and tough....more people brings more ideas.....but as much problems and disagreements......that's the reality of teamwork....we stick togther or fall apart.....

lastly,Is iT So hArD To bOOk a tIcKeT fOr hArrY PoTTeR?

always there,take care
X )
xavier

Wad a dAy ....

2005-11-17T16:26:00.000+08:00

Hi hullo haha,

Hmm..haha here on my first bloggy day for you guys out there....I'm setting up this blog to share wad i can and express as much as i can abt my inner world....there'll be health tips and fitness tips....

And this could be a way for me to blow away my unhappiness....atleast there'd be people and frens out there listening, i dun request immediate comfort...but just your heart and time...

My inner side is messy and crazy world....i love to talk crappy stuffs and play pranks on my frens....but glad i could say i've wonderful and faithful frens waiting behind my back should i fall one day.....i'll know who will pick me up from the trashbin...lastly to my dearest love,HaPPie BiRthdAy!you know the words...so remember them hard...and forever. = ]

Always there - take care
Xavier aka blindbat

pepper-bomb

2005-11-16T23:55:00.000+08:00

hi hello!! my first day i made my blog..and on my gf bdae